Schlock and Awe: "X" The Man with the X-Ray Eyes

Remember those warm summer nights spent at the drive-in movie theater 'watching' whatever it was that was showing that week and doing whatever it was that people actually did at drive-in theaters back in the day? I don't. That was a little before my time. However, just because the bygone era of the drive-in has had its run, doesn't mean that I can't enjoy a similar experience by watching some of the cinema to grace the screens during that golden age of movie fun. I mentioned last week that I was going to do something with a bit of schlock for this week's review, and here we are, but first, I want to try and define schlock a bit because I think that the term gets tossed around a lot without those people using it understanding what it really means.

Of course, here at Critical Mass, we strive for as much objectivity as possible in our pursuit to rate the media of the world so I did some poking around the Internet to see if I could find a satisfactory definition of the word schlock. I finally stumbled across one compliments of Reddit user edrenfro: "Schlock is the disconnect between the logical and the emotional parts of your mind. When a movie is objectively stupid, immature, or nonsensical, but you experience pleasure from it anyway, you call it schlock." To help drive the point, Reddit user talentpun provides a good example of schlock cinema in the mainstream. He suggests, "Great Movie - Rocky, Great Schlock - Rocky IV" I think the definition combined with the example are a pretty good start to understanding what schlock really is. However, this type of cinema is so subjective that it's really difficult to nail down an absolute definition since it's always going to vary based on the person. However, for our purposes, we'll go with what we've got, and to that end, we'll take a look at this week's film, X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes, and see if it lived up to its schlock value, or if it just fell flat.

I had a great deal of trouble settling on X as the subject for this article, mostly because I don't feel like it adequately engenders those qualities that would define it as schlock. That is to say, it's actually good. And not in a 'so bad it's good' kind of way, but just straight up 'I expected a bad film and got a good film' kind of way. The trouble stemmed from the notion that most schlock relies pretty heavily on the exhibition of the female form in order to sell itself, and of course, there's usually crass language and gore involved as well. But I strive to review things for the most part that pretty much anyone could enjoy watching, at least on the grounds of personal values so that made this decision a bit more difficult. However, being as it was directed by Roger Corman, often considered one of the kings of schlock, its heritage is in the right place and it does use some early prototypes of elements that would eventually become staples in schlock so although I don't think it fits exactly, I think it's close enough.

The story of X is simple. Dr. James Xavier and his partner Dr. Sam Brant have been working tirelessly to develop a chemical that could extend the spectral range of human vision. When we open, Xavier is getting his eyes examined to make sure that they're still healthy. His last visit was three months prior to the present. Dr. Diane Fairfax serves as the liaison between the scientists who formulate and carry out experiments and the bureaucrats who hand out the funds for those experiments, and she starts pressing Xavier about his work and the lack of progress reports. He and she run an experiment with his latest compound so that he can prove to her that he's been making progress, and it works. A monkey dosed with the drug is able to see 3 different colored slates even when they're covered by one another. The monkey subsequently dies, but the whole thing constitutes a major breakthrough, and Fairfax is certain that this breakthrough will guarantee more funding for the project.

Xavier knows that the reason that the monkey died wasn't that there was an adverse physiological response, but rather that psychologically, and intellectually, the monkey was simply unable to process all that it was suddenly able to see, and Xavier is bent on proving it. He convinces Brant to aid him in administering the drug to himself. Brant reluctantly helps out and administers a dose of the drug to Xavier. Xavier experiences some discomfort, but ultimately is able to see a piece of paper that is beneath a folder and read what's written on it. Xavier, excited by the progress, administers another dose and overwhelms his senses. He ends up in medical care on the day that he was supposed to have pitched the continuation of his work to the board of trustees, and they subsequently deny funding. Xavier secretly keeps the drug though, and begins administering it to himself in regular doses.

A bit of time is devoted to developing a relationship between Xavier and Fairfax. The two have good chemistry on screen, and with the little bit of development, the relationship actually feels pretty natural. She sees him as a brilliant innovator, and he sees her as a grounding element in his life. The two share coffee, and attend a party together, and it's not much, but it at least establishes the relationship. Xavier's colleague, Dr. Willard Benson, who denied him funding, tells Xavier to take a look at a young woman who they'll be operating on together. Xavier realizes that the girl has been misdiagnosed and tries to warn Benson, but Benson is a stubborn professional who will not have his judgement questioned. However, during the operation, Xavier hijacks the thing, and proves he was right. Benson rightfully informs Xavier that Xavier will be charged with malpractice, but we also know that there was a ton of ego there as well. This revelation puts Xavier into a tailspin. He and Brant and Fairfax start discussing ways to correct the situation. Brant gets a bit forceful, and Xavier responds in kind, and Brant is pushed out of a window. He falls to his death, and the obvious nature of the dummy is the first indicator that we're in a schlock film

Xavier runs away from his life as a doctor and takes up an existence as an entertainer at a permanent carnival. His gimmick is reading what people wrote on pieces of paper while wearing a blindfold. Most take it as a parlor trick, but one man pushes too far, and when pushed, Xavier reveals some embarrassing information about this man. The man huffs off after being humiliated, and this catches the eye of Crane, Xavier's handler. Crane, played by Don Rickles, is only out to make as much money as he can, and he sees Xavier as a potential meal ticket. Crane's suspicions are further solidified when Xavier uses his powers to help a young woman who fell and broke some bones. He sets her leg and splints it before a doctor arrives to continue treatment. That evening, there's some philosophical talk about how others would use Xavier's abilities. One man figures that he could change the world simply by getting all the dirt on people and blackmailing them all into doing his will. Crane subtly points out that he just needs one person under his thumb, and convinces Xavier that a life as a carny is no life for someone with such incredible abilities. Xavier is duped into opening a clinic to diagnose the sick before they go to see their doctor. Crane sells it as Xavier being a healer for those who lack resources for the comprehensive care that they may need.

Once the two set up shop, Crane takes to finding clientele and it doesn't take long for Crane's cash to start flowing in. Xavier continues use of the drug, and the power becomes more acute and more unwieldy to the point where Xavier has to start wearing special glasses just to cope. Eventually, Fairfax tracks Xavier down and convinces him to run away with her. Crane is not pleased by this and threatens to expose Xavier, but I think Crane didn't really understand Xavier's real motives so that 'escape' is pretty easily pulled off. Xavier's new plan is to raise money to continue his research and hopefully figure out a way to reverse what he's done to himself. To that end, he and Fairfax go to Las Vegas and he racks up a ton of winnings at blackjack. The house manager accuses him of cheating, and calls guards over so Xavier has to create a diversion and flee. It's as he's driving erratically through the desert that we as the audience finally get a clear idea of just how far things have progressed for him. He's unable to see as humans normally would and now only sees in blinding multi-colored light.

A helicopter pursues Xavier, and eventually Xavier crashes. His crash site is near a religious tent revival that just happens to be going on, and he wanders into the show. The pastor is talking about light and sin, and after his sermon, he invites everyone to come forward and be saved. Fairfax and the police show up, and watch as Xavier talks about the things that man was never meant to see. The pastor shares a passage about plucking out the eye if it offends, and seeing this as his last hope for respite, Xavier does exactly that, off screen of course.

I must reiterate once again that I feel like I'm cheating a little this week because this was a legitimately good movie. The acting is mostly good throughout with just a few cheesy deliveries here and there. The themes are classically relevant. The movie discusses things like being measured in our pursuit of knowledge, thoroughly considering the consequences of our actions before taking them, and the dangers of seeing oneself as anything more than a delicate bundle of flesh. These themes will pretty much always be relevant in one way or another, and they're presented in a compelling way here. The dialog hearkens to 50s/60s Rod Serling style dialog, except that there's also a certain poetic nature to the deliveries, and it's a lot of fun to watch. As far as the special effects go, for 1963, they were great. They may not hold up to today's standards, but I think for the time, they accomplished what was needed, which was helping the audience to understand the metamorphosis that Xavier was experiencing, and more importantly the consequences of that metamorphosis. I've noticed that a lot of these schlock films have really short running times, and this one is no different. It clocks in at 79 minutes. I like the shorter running time because I feel like it forces everyone involved to be more succinct in how they present their film. This one clips along at a quick pace, but nothing really feels lost because of that. There are interesting turns of events to keep your attention throughout, and the tone will keep you glued as well. Also, watching Don Rickles play a bad guy was extremely unsettling as someone who's somewhat familiar with his work.

All-in-all, I'd recommend giving this one a shot. It's good sci-fi for its time, and it's a great opportunity to fill in some gaps in the evolution of one of schlock's most well-known names. It's relatively short, and it's free to stream via Amazon Prime Video if you're a prime member. I think you'll be sufficiently entertained as I was so track it down, and give it a try! And stick around to see what I've got cooking for next week!

Killing Me Softly with Kindness Week 4: Catwoman

This may or may not come as a shock, but very rarely do I ever plan on watching a movie for the sole purpose of doing a review. Nine times out of ten, I either watch a film that I think will be interesting, and then find it so much so that I feel the need to review it, or I look back on films that I've already seen for inspiration in order to find fodder for the microscope. This constitutes one of the rare times in over two years that I set out to watch a movie with the express purpose of reviewing it afterward. It's also the end of our Mr. Rogers inspired experiment that we embarked upon at the beginning of the month. I'm not sure what else I can say in regards to that, but I'll come up with some generic, but inspiring words of wisdom to play us out.

Catwoman falls into a rather narrow personal category of films that I like to call, "Movies that came out while I was serving my church mission". It's a category of films that encompasses a two year period wherein I just didn't watch movies and instead focused my time and efforts on more spiritual pursuits. There are a lot of films that fit in this box that I've since gone back and watched. To name a few, The Two Towers, Return of the King, Star Trek Nemesis, Chamber of Secrets, Prisoner of Azkaban, and the list probably goes on, but you get the idea. If a film seemed like it would be worth catching myself up on, then I went back and watched it. Catwoman did not. In fact, all I ever hear about it is how awful it was. Let's see if I was able to find anything to redeem this movie.

The plot of Catwoman is pretty straightforward. Patience Philips is an aspiring artist with dreams who is stuck working for the Man. She's got a mundane and soul crushing job designing ads for a cosmetics corporation. Her boss's wife, Laurel has been playing guinea pig for an experimental line called Beau-Line that apparently will wreck the faces of people who stop using it after prolonged usage. Patience gets in trouble for messing up the latest ad campaign, and given a last chance to fix things, shows up late to the company's secondary location only to witness Laurel and a lead scientist on the Beau-Line project talking about the harsh side effects of the product. Patience gives her presence away and Laurel has her killed. It's okay though because an Egyptian mau breathes new life into the recently deceased Philips, and Patience is reborn as Catwoman. After her rebirth, Philips spends the rest of the film learning about her new found abilities, and plumbing the depths of what it means to be a Catwoman. Yes, a Catwoman because in this version of Catwoman lore, Catwoman is a title passed down through the ages that started in ancient Egypt.

Patience mistakenly thinks that her boss, George, had her killed, and as Catwoman, she spends a lot of time during the movie trying to prove his complicity in her death, and expose the harmful effects of Beau-Line. Patience also has to juggle the life that she had before her transformation, which means carrying on a relationship with law enforcement officer Tom. Also, she has a lust for shiny things, which gets her into some trouble. Laurel realizes the threat that Catwoman poses to the empire that her husband built, and frames Catwoman for the murder of that lead scientist, and eventually George. Patience gets locked up when Tom finally sleuths his way to the truth, and Patience has to break out of jail for a final showdown with Laurel. Tom attempts to do the cop thing and gets shot in the shoulder, but he and Catwoman take out the thugs, and Catwoman defeats Laurel, clearing Patience's name, and bringing an end to the plan to slowly poison people.

Don't you love when the synopsis can be short? Yeah, me too. It's not that there wasn't more that happened, it's just that most of the other stuff is pretty unnecessary to the plot. I noticed a lot of things in this film were kind of... Off... Remember that category we were just talking about? There's another category that I created for myself called, "Late 90s, early 00s movies that exude awkward, but distinct style". It's not very hard to identify, even if it is a little harder to define. There are films like Die Another Day,  The Hulk, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, and others that tap into this style, and I just associate with that particular era of film when we were trying to move past the extreme culture of the 90s and define what we were going to be at the start of a totally new millennium. You might call it cultural adolescence, and it was just as awkward as actual puberty, just more publicly accessible. Catwoman seethes with this style. And really, I have to applaud everyone involved in the project for taking such huge gambles with the style of this movie. Sometimes innovation fails to pay off, but there's courage in the attempt, and that alone is commendable.

Let's just start with the lowest hanging fruit for this film. It was quite competently made if you're just looking at it from a broad strokes perspective. It has a beginning, a middle, and and end. There's a climax. There's conflict. There's some intrigue, and even a few attempts at twists thrown in there. From that broad perspective, it's put together adequately. And believe me, I've watched some movies in my day that fail to clear even that lowest of benchmarks in movie making competency. So to have a well defined beginning, middle, and end, and to pepper it with elements that at least showed some attempts at effort is worth applauding. Sometimes it's the basic things that wreck a movie, and this one at least understood the basics. The finer points of nuance, and wit may not have translated as well, but I was glad that I could see at least a modicum of effort behind the attempt.

Okay, so the camera work in this film is extremely dynamic. I'm not against dynamic camera work. It can be fun, and it can help to break up the monotony of never ending steady cams. Used well, it really adds to a movie's visual impact, and there were some shots in this movie that were absolutely just kind of cool, and visually fun that involved that dynamic camera movement. A lot of them were establishing shots of buildings and cityscapes, and that's cool. I also kind of liked the use of color in this film. Don't get me wrong, I didn't see where there was any rhyme or reason to it, but I noticed on that ginormous 65" 4k tube, that at times, the color saturation appeared to be artificially increased, especially where the reds were involved, and that added vibrance made things pop off of the screen. Were they the right things? I don't think I'm qualified to answer that question. But it was appreciated nonetheless because in recent years, the DC Emo Universe has become pretty washed out, and bland in the color department.

One of the most basic foundations of storytelling is that a story should have some sort of theme to anchor it, and this movie did have some semblance of theme going on. I noticed the themes of rebirth and duality being leaned upon to prop this movie up. Those are pretty cliche, and were even in 2003. Also, they could have been explored a bit better, but at least they were there, and actually, the duality between Patience, and Catwoman is a major point in the movie as Patience is continually getting in trouble for Catwoman's antics. The whole rebirth thing doesn't feature as prominently, but it is there to kind of play wingman to the other theme. The themes also work to generate at least a little bit of character growth from Patience. It's pretty basic, but it's represented. Patience starts out a shy, demure pushover of a woman, and through her rebirth as Catwoman, she begins to morph into a woman who is more self-confident, and more self-assured, and who stops being a doormat, and who learns to stand up for herself. I think it's supposed to be a story of empowerment, but I think it's coming from the wrong source. People, when you've got a cause, always be mindful of who is supporting your cause and try to make sure that they're not doing more harm than good.

 Man, that's about all I got to say that's nice. This really was a challenging movie to find some hidden good in. I guess sometimes you just have to trust the masses, but I think that's sad because I did see a lot of potential in this movie. I saw efforts being made by the actors as they tried to make their performances entertaining. I saw the potential for a fun romp with a DC character that, at the time, seemed like a good character to explore on account of the character hadn't been explored a great deal in film previously. I saw some imaginative ideas being attempted that may even have paid off well if they hadn't just fallen flat. For example, the portrayal of Patience tripping out when she first gets her Catwoman powers is a nice nod to the fact that cats naturally secrete a chemical in their brains that has the same effect on them that LSD does on humans. I got that because I'm a brainy nerd full of useless information, and it was a decent idea. Try to balance that one kind of imaginative idea with all of the weird CGI acrobatic choreography, or the catnip scene, and it gets lost. The actual cosmetics company being the villain was almost a clever nod to the 89 Batman wherein the Joker uses cosmetics to kill the people of Gotham en masse. There were definitely some potentially good elements floating around in that soup, but they just got lost, and from what I've been able to find, it's a blend of Warner Bros meddling a bit too much, and hiring a director who wanted to be way too auteur to pull off the project. I can understand why WB might have thought hiring the director that they did was a good idea though. He had previously directed a film called Vidocq. Have I seen it? No, but it's got a 6.5 rating on IMDb so it must not be too bad. I can even kind of understand WB's penchant for meddling in this project. After all, it was the first bigger name DC film to be released after Batman and Robin, although there were four theatrical releases between the two movies, but I'm sure that the execs were keen on avoiding a repeat of that Batman and Robin debacle. Ultimately, if mistakes are meant for us to learn and grow, then I really have to applaud Hollywood on this one because the guy who directed this movie, Pitof, hasn't directed anything since.

What have I learned as I've done my Mr. Rogers inspired experiment? Well, as I said last week, when you go into something expecting to find good things about it, you're going to regardless of how detestable it may seem from the outset. Oftentimes, you have to plumb pretty deep to find those good qualities, but I learned that the effort can yield some good rewards, mostly in avoiding getting caught up in all the unnecessary hate and mockery that just wastes energy and erodes our own personal character. There's a lesson to be learned there, especially in context of Mr. Rogers, where if you look for good in people, you'll probably find some. I think that it starts with looking for the good in ourselves and developing a desire to have others see us as we eventually see ourselves, which takes trying to see them the way we see ourselves. That takes the effort of learning to accept a person as they are in the same ways that we have to accept ourselves the way that we are. It's often difficult, but I think that some of those people we see who seem troubled may just need someone to look deep to find the qualities of goodness within them and offer to be a friend, no strings attached. These are not necessarily easy things, and they require us to rise above the base impulse for anger and frustration that our Internet connected world pushes upon us, but if we resolve and endeavor to do so, maybe we can begin to be good neighbors to those around us. Pretty deep, eh?! That's all I got. Stick around for next week because I've been feeling pretty schlocky!

Killing Me Softly With Kindness Week 3: Howard the Duck

It's definitely been an enlightening experiment that we've been on these last few weeks. I think the most surprising thing about the whole experience has been how you can find good things in pretty much anything if your attitude reflects a desire to do so. Believe me, I've tried extremely hard to find those films that illicit shudders of revulsion from the masses only to find that the running theme has been that I don't particularly feel like these films deserve the vitriol that they get. Perhaps that's due to how far off the beaten path I go to find movies to watch, but I've yet to watch one of these supposed stinkers and say, "There were absolutely no redeeming qualities to that movie whatsoever!" Last week's romp was pretty close, but in the end, there were still some good things to be had from it. This week's entry is no different. Howard the Duck regularly makes the top 10 of 'Worst Movies of All Time' lists. It's notorious for a number of reasons. It was nominated for seven Golden Raspberries! It's cited as the reason that George Lucas had to sell his computer animation to Steve Jobs who then built it into Pixar. IMDb even points out that coincidentally, Princess Diana was tragically killed while the film was making its television debut in Australia. Coincidence, or conspiracy? You decide! Things get pretty ridiculous where this movie is concerned.

The story is pretty simple. Howard lives on Duck World, and he's ripped through space by a laser machine until he lands on Earth. He saves a musician named Beverly from a couple of menacing 'fans' of hers, and she offers to help him figure out how to get home. She takes him to her band mate's boyfriend, Phil, who immediately gets visions of Nobel prizes and fame, which turns Howard off, so he storms off. He ends up nabbing a temp job cleaning hot tubs for a local bath house/convenient place for folks to grind naughty bits, a job which he quits after one shift. Howard returns to Beverly, they have a moment before they're interrupted by Phil and Phil's scientist friend Dr. Jenning, who caused the accident in the first place. Jenning and Howard and crew all go to the lab where the accident occurred, and in the process, Jenning becomes physically possessed by an alien. Jenning kidnaps Howard and Beverly, but Howard escapes in the confusion created by the police pursuing them. Howard and Phil fix up an ultralight and fly back to the lab. Jenning takes Beverly back to the lab after a stop off at the nuclear power plant for an energy boost so that she can be a vessel for another one of the aliens. Howard and Phil concoct a plan to use a laser developed by Jenning's team, but scrapped to stop the alien infested Jenning. They nearly fail, but Howard saves the day. Unfortunately, Howard has to destroy the laser that could send him home in the process, but it's okay because he had previously freed Beverly and her band from their contract with their deadbeat manager and he's able to become their new more benevolent manager/band mate. The band put together a song with a really catchy beat and everyone lives happily ever after.

WOW! That was a really short recap! I guess there wasn't a whole lot there. That's okay, I don't think there was supposed to be a whole lot there. It was a straightforward attempt at an origin story for an obscure Marvel comic character. This film had a ton going for it. It was written by Willard Hyuck, who had previously penned material for American Graffiti, and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. It was directed by Willard Hyuck. It was produced by George Lucas, and Industrial Light & Magic did the special effects. That's a pretty impressive lineup of players behind the scenes. To top it all off, it starred Lea Thompson, who was coming off of Back to the Future, and perpetual 80s/real life villain, Jeffery Jones. So then what did I notice about the film as I was watching it and intentionally looking for good things about it? Well, first off, I thought that there were a couple of really good mini-montages where we saw things that would help us better get to know Howard. They do a great pan around his apartment at the very beginning, and we get a lot of information about him in a well crafted visual gag. We get another one later when Beverly is going through his wallet. I noticed that the noir-esque feel of the movie at the very beginning was pretty fun. In fact, pretty much every aspect of the Duck world that the crew created were really cool, except the duck puns. However, that little sequence does a lot. There's some commentary on week night TV programming of the 80s as well as a jab at the porn industry and its unrealistic portrayal of women.

Once Howard gets to Earth, there are some pretty good things going on as well. Off the bat, we get a brief bit of discourse on toxic fandom. It's really short, but it tells volumes about the world that awaited us back in 1986. I thought that the way that Beverly's awkward first contact experience was probably pretty accurate. As a Trekkie, I'd like to think that we'd get a first contact scenario like that of Zephram Cochrane in Star Trek First Contact, but as a living, breathing human being, I know that it would probably be more like Beverly's. That's fine. She's not a Mary Sued character with a ton of hidden abilities that she just has because the plot demands it. She represents an average human in an extraordinary situation, and I think that she is portrayed accordingly. In fact, I think most of the characters are portrayed fairly accurately to real life. Phil, as an aspiring scientist, is looking for his big break and sees that in Howard. He reacts according to that motivation. Jenning is a seasoned scientist who has seen a lot and since he kind of knows what's going on, he knows that he can help, and is eager to do so because he knows that Howard doesn't belong on Earth. Beverly is a struggling musician and she comes across as such. In fact, the only character that's hard to get a handle on is Howard, and that's a missed opportunity because I think if the writers could have nailed down a definite personality for the character, it would have helped things tremendously.

There were also some pretty memorable background characters. The employment specialist lady was fantastic! You can tell she's just the saltiest, and she doesn't take crap off of anyone! It's just great! The bath house guy is also pretty funny in his own right, but since he wasn't supposed to be terribly likable, he came across as appropriately unlikable. Speaking of motivations, I thought it was pretty gosh darn cool how bad I felt for Jenning. True, he had been fiddling with the fundamental laws that hold our universe together, but dude got shafted. He tried so hard to warn Howard and Beverly that something was amiss, and he fought back with all that he had. He helped save the day once he was released from the clutches of the alien overlord. He was a stand up guy. There were also some background characters that maybe weren't so great. I thought that the diner group may have whipped into a frenzy a little too easily. But I couldn't tell you for sure how I would react if I were to find myself face-to-face with a lifeform from another planet so I suppose we can give them the benefit of the doubt. What I find difficult to overlook is the nuclear technician at the power plant who says, "nucular power plant." That's a rookie mistake, buddy. However, most of these background characters fit into the world well, and do what they need to do for purposes of the narrative.

Who would have thought that Lea Thompson could sing so well?! That's right, she did all of her vocals on all of the songs that featured her character. Good for you Lea! Speaking of, some of those songs were quite catchy. Some served to give us awkward pop rock music montages to describe the inner thoughts of the characters during certain scenes, and that was not as catchy, but at least they weren't, like, the Macarena or something. Most of them were mostly palatable to listen to. That theme song was really darn catchy! I couldn't stop tapping my foot. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't exactly a good song, it just also wasn't exactly a bad song. The lyrics were a bit awkward, but the beat and the melody were fun to listen to. Since we're on it, I usually look at the IMDb trivia when I do these things and I read that John Barry had a good bit of his score replaced because the producers thought it was too 'old fashioned'. I'm not sure what parts of the remaining score he did, and what parts were from the other guy, but it was pretty okay. I like John Barry well enough. Gotta give respect to the guy who wrote the James Bond theme, and I liked what he did about as much as I expected to. Actually, the score kind of had the same vibe that I got from the 1994 Fantastic Four movie's score, and I like that one a lot, all 13 minutes of it, so perhaps that had a lot to do with how I felt about things. Generally, I enjoyed that aspect of this movie.

There are a few things for which this film has become infamous. The most notorious thing is the interspecies 'sex scene'. I just want to say that although it was still kind of out of left field, I didn't really get that vibe at any time during the scene. It felt more to me like someone giving someone else a hard time by trying to make them really uncomfortable. I've been in this situation plenty of times in my youth and so I know what Howard is feeling throughout. I get it buddy. The scene did creepy harassment well, but at no point did I get the impression that Lea Thompson was about to dive head long into a bestiality fetish. They kissed, she was in her sleepwear, he was in his sleepwear, they should have been in separate beds probably, but I think this scene gets blown out of proportion for dramatic effect. It was awkward to watch for sure, but I think more than anything that's because the relationship between Beverly and Howard hadn't been developed well enough beforehand to support what was being tried. If the relationship had been firmly established as purely platonic, of even if Howard had been shown to have some sort of sexual attraction to Beverly, then Beverly sexually harassing Howard would have at least fit the narrative better. I caught the naked duck woman. I hadn't known before that that I had ever wondered what an anthropomorphized female duck would look like nude, and after seeing it, I'm certain that I really didn't ever want to know. I'll give that one to the hecklers.

The elephant in the room for me was the overall tone of the film. It was lopsided. We go from naked anthropomorphized duck boobs to kid-friendly duck puns in spans of less than a second. I felt throughout the whole viewing that the film should just have embraced the R rating. I know that Universal and everyone involved was probably hoping to make something for the whole family, and I'll admit to knowing nothing of the character beyond the film, unfortunately, but I felt the whole time that the film pushed that "R" boundary so much that the writers and producers should just have thrown caution to the wind and done what came naturally per the source material. It probably still would have bombed, but at least it probably would have bombed because it was a reasonably solid film that was tailored to a niche crowd instead of bombing because it was a confused film trying to please too broad an audience. And believe me, it was confused. It was more confused than 12 year old me after my first week of sex ed. I couldn't tell whether they wanted Howard to likable, or unlikable, and so he was kind of neither to me for most of the film. I liked him more toward the end when his motivations finally came together, but that process was just a bit too uneven for me to enjoy along the way. 

Ending on the positive, I will say that the makeup and creature effects done with Howard were pretty awesome. I found myself marveling at how expressive Howard's face could be, and although 35 year old me knew it was just a costume and an animatronic mask, I found that I could still buy it, even after 30+ years. Also, I thought it was a really fun touch, intentional or otherwise, that Howard lands on Earth on the 20th birthday of Star Trek. The movie really did have its moments, and I think that it actually did accomplish what is set out to do for the most part. It told an origin story of an obscure Marvel comic character. It also got me curious about Howard the Duck as a character in the comics. I may prod around and try to learn a bit more about how he's portrayed in his comics as a result of this experience just so I can compare and contrast a bit more. I'd call that a definite win for Marvel. Is it cinematic genius? No. But it is mostly a fun romp through which you can turn off your brain, and we need those in our lives from time to time. I wouldn't go out of your way to give this one a watch, but I really think that the hate is exaggerated to a large degree. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Next week I'll be reviewing the last of my 'Worst Movies of All Time', and it's a movie that I've never seen! It should prove to be a fascinating experience so stick around!

Killing Me Softly With Kindness Week 2: Battlefield Earth

My first and natural inclination in starting this review was to fall back on the trusted self-deprecating, and existential rhetoric that has worked pretty well for me in the past, and indeed, that rhetoric would definitely apply well here, but we're experimenting in trying to only say kind things and so I'm doing the thing! Here's hoping that I will come out a better person on the other side because otherwise, we might get some scathing reviews following this month's series. At any rate, as I look at various lists of 'Worst Movies of All Time', I realize pretty quickly that it would have been really easy to fall into a 'Dump on DC Films' kind of pattern as some of the consistent top 10s include Catwoman, and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, which I already reviewed by the way. Well, sort of... Anyway, lump Green Lantern into the mix and boom! You've got a month's worth of bad movies to speak kindly about, and you didn't even have to leave studios to do it. Meh. That's lazy, and I maybe many things, but lazy is only one of them some of the time! And darn it, this is not one of those times! I strive to bring you guys as much variety and insight as I can muster so that I can stretch my sensibilities in my efforts to divert you. Thus, in the spirit of diversity, here's Battlefield Earth, also a Warner Brothers picture in case you were wondering. Irony, am I right?

Well that was an interesting experience. Let me just say how thankful I am for this film! It has officially restored my my faith in humanity! Well, not humanity as a whole, just my own because despite the difficult time had, I actually managed to find some good in this film. Mr. Rogers would be proud I think. But I'm jumping ahead of myself. Let's recap Battlefield Earth real quick for those who may not have seen it. The movie opens with a zoom and pan of planet Earth with superimposed words that say, "Man is and endangered species." That's it. That's all you get for context, but don't worry, the film fills you in a bit later. We're quickly introduced to our main protagonist, Jonnie, played by Barry Pepper, who I actually recognized from from other pieces, Saving Private Ryan, The Green Mile, and We Were Soldiers just to name a few. Jonnie is back from a hunt I think, and finds out that his mom died. He mourns for about three seconds, and then joins the rest of his group to be regaled with stories of the fabled demons. Then he leaves to hunt again. I guess that was his job. He has a run in with some rabid looking fellows, but it's okay because everything deescalates without a hitch through the magic of bribery. Actually, that's kind of a running theme in this film. Jonnie wants to see the gods and the two ruffians claim to have seen where the gods once lived so Jonnie makes a deal to share some food if they show him the land of the gods. They go, and then an obscure, but very real force ambushes them and takes them to a detention center.

There's a really disorienting scene of the three men being processed, and then we're introduced to our main antagonist, Terl, played by John Travolta. A guard has let Jonnie get free because the guard was afraid that Jonnie might kill him after Jonnie got hold of a gun. To be fair, this scene does a fairly decent job establishing the two main characters. Terl tells the guard to accept the risk of possible death at the hands of the human because if he doesn't, then it's guaranteed that Terl will kill the guard himself, and Jonnie does exactly what we had expected he would, he kills the guard. It was a flimsy play at irony, and I appreciate that someone tried to be clever, even if it didn't play out terribly well. Jonnie and his friends are taken to holding cells and it's feeding time. There's a douche who has artificially constructed a social hierarchy wherein douche guy and his friends get food before anyone else. Jonnie challenges the guy, beats the tar out of him, and then offers the guy food as a peace offering, again establishing Jonnie as a pretty level headed tactical mind. On the other side of the spectrum, we see Terl drowning his cares at the bar flaunting the end of his assignment to Earth and the expectation of a grand promotion that will take him back to the home world. We also meet Terl's second in command, Ker, played by Forest Whitaker. Sorry about the pause that you didn't have to experience. I had to take a moment to verify that it was indeed Forest Whitaker playing the role as some genius actually managed to kind of fix his eye thing through the use of contact lenses. I think that might be the biggest win this film achieves.

Terl and Ker attend a meeting with the Planetship, Terl's boss, and the District Manager. It's here that Terl learns that he will, in fact, not be getting promoted or transferred, and because audiences crave consistency, it's done in the most heartless, and smug way possible. Terl finds out that the reason for the pass over is that he apparently had a fling with a relative to a very powerful alien, and has now found himself in the social blight zone. As Terl and Ker skulk off to Terl's office, Terl finds a picture showing a vein of gold. This is when we find out why it is that the aliens invaded Earth. They simply wanted gold. Too bad they didn't take a closer look at the asteroid belt, there's tons of it there. At any rate, Terl kindly informs Ker that he's aware of Ker's treachery, and that he's actually kind of proud except that the atmosphere that the aliens breathe doesn't react well to radiation, and being as there's also uranium around this vein of gold, the aliens can't mine it. A tragic waste of treacherous tendencies, but Terl has a plan. He wants to train the humans to use the alien mining equipment in order to mind the gold and hopefully curry favor with those that decide who gets what assignment. Of course, Terl's boss thinks this is a terrible idea, but Terl is so convinced that it will work that he goes ahead clandestinely anyway. As leverage, a word that gets used entirely too often in this film, Terl finds proof that his boss is artificially deflating profit margins in order to pocket money for himself. Armed with that, Terl makes his boss basically a puppet, and uses new found authority to begin his operation.

To accomplish this, Terl has to find a way to control the humans. He lets Jonnie and friends go in order to observe them, and finds out that they like rats. Of course what they really like is protein, but who could be bothered with such trivial splittings of hairs? They also learn that Jonnie has a pretty bright mind. He's defiant and hard to control, but it's okay because Terl has officially found leverage over Jonnie. The men are rounded up and then assigned to do some renovations on Terl's office. It's during this time that Terl puts Jonnie in a teaching chamber and teaches him things that will help Jonnie to speak the alien language. Jonnie learns much more than that, and uses his new found knowledge both to better understand how the aliens work, and to teach his friends, and their friends, and really anyone who will listen. I feel like we basically move into an extended montage as Jonnie and his ever expanding group of friends learn how to mine gold, and also how they're going to rid themselves of the aliens once and for all. This plan is helped when Terl allows Jonnie to browse a library for a while. How long, they don't say, but Jonnie learns enough about where he lives to tweak a few things with his plan. It seems like hubris on Terl's part as we've seen that Jonnie is a sharp cookie, and I'm sure that it's meant to so go team.

While teaching Jonnie and company to mine, Terl takes them to a pasture to show them what will happen if they attempt escape. He then proceeds to shoot the legs off of cows. I'm dead serious. I couldn't make that up even in my wildest dreams, and it looks at least as ridiculous as you're imagining. During the demonstration, some wild humans from the forests ambush Terl, and Jonnie gets control of Terl's weapon. Jonnie uses the time to explain to everyone that it's a good idea to get rid of the aliens once and for all. They all agree, and then Jonnie gives Terl back the weapon. Terl then reveals his master stroke of leverage getting by revealing that he's found Jonnie's main squeeze Chrissy. Yeah, she gets like 12 seconds of screen time at the beginning, and they're totally in love. I'm buying it, yep. Anyway, Terl tells Jonnie that the collar on her neck will decapitate her if he triggers it, and then demonstrates on one of the guys in Jonnie's group, which I'm just going to refer to as the Fellowship. I think the blowing off the head scene would have carried more weight if I had actually known the name of the character, and if I had remembered under what context I was supposed to care about that character, but he was just a rando with no name, and I've watched enough Star Trek to know how these sorts of things end.

Anywho, after a lot of tense training, and learning, Terl takes the Fellowship to the area where the gold is so that they can mine it. Jonnie sees firsthand the effect that the radiation has on the alien's breathing gas, and makes a mental note. They're given their instructions, and Jonnie is given a brief, threatening demonstration that Terl is totally capable of keeping an eye on him. Once the aliens leave, the Fellowship get to work. Jonnie has found Fort Knox, and declares that they're definitely not wasting their time with any actual mining. Instead, they raid Fort Knox, turn over half the gold, and stash the rest. They're left with two weeks to do this first bit. When Terl sees that they've had time to smelt the gold, the cuts the deadline for the other half in half. Huh. I didn't think about that that way at the time, but that's almost kind of clever. Jonnie doesn't really care about the deadline being shorter because he found where 'Murica stored some of their nukes... A millennium ago! And so the Fellowship head to Texas to grab themselves a nuke, and some of the wildebeests take advantage of a miraculously operable flight simulator to learn how to fly Harrier jets, again, in the space of a week.

I'm not going to lie, things get kind of fuzzy at this point, but I'm pretty sure that the Fellowship don't wait for Terl to show back up. They just take their newly acquired weapons, and knowledge and the launch their assault. The crux of the plan is that one of them will take the nuke through a teleportation device and detonate it on the alien home world. Jonnie thinks that the destruction of the home world will result in enough chaos and demoralization that Earth will finally be left alone. I gotta say, the last 45 minutes of the film feel like they were written and directed by someone completely different from the rest of the movie. As the film gears up for the climax, everything feels better explained, and better executed in terms of action. The humans launch their attack, and one of the lead Fellowship members, Carlo, sacrifices himself to destroy the dome that held the atmosphere for the aliens to breathe. The thought was that without the dome, the aliens would be less effective in repelling an assault. The only thing that I was left wondering was why he needed to make this sacrifice when there were a half-dozen Harrier jets flying around with missiles that could have done the job for him. Eh, anyway, Jonnie annnnd... That other guy who volunteered for the suicide mission make there way to where the teleportation chamber is, and to be fair, it does get a little tense as the underdogs struggle against the aliens, and we can't destroy the dome until the teleportation happens because if we do the thing will be disabled from the home world, but everything we had planned is falling apart. I seriously doubt that it was hard to do chaos in this film.

Jonnie and Terl have to have a final showdown so they do. Jonnie has gotten the boom collar from his girl, and he wraps that around Terl's arm. Then he pleads with Terl to spare the girl. Of course Terl takes the bait and blows the collar only to suddenly realize that he's now short one right arm. Jonnie beats the snot out of him as... Other guy... Teleports to the alien home world. There's a slow-mo shot of alien soldiers on the home planet rushing to take "C-string" into captivity and then a close up of C-string's face as he sheds a tear of joy just before detonating the bomb. I'm pretty sure the tear seemed joyous because he knew that the audience was almost free of this lackluster experience. But, the bomb explodes and vaporizes the entire planet. Geez, talk about genocide. I mean I figured that the bomb would do a lot of damage, but somehow it destroyed everything. Once the bomb goes off, it's pretty much over. We get a short scene where Jonnie explains to Terl, who is now imprisoned in Fort Knox, surrounded by gold, that Terl is being kept around for leverage, and then we get a surprise reveal that Ker is still alive, and that he's joined the humans. Whew!

Okay, I'm only saying nice things, and this one really doesn't make that easy, but here's what I've got. The makeup was kind of cool. We get to see a few different species, and each has their own unique look, and the execution is pretty good. I thought that the way they jumped between the alien language and English was kind of clever. When we're being treated to establishing shots of more organic locations, the vistas are really nice. Whoever chose those particular locations did a good job. To the film's credit, it manages to do tension reasonably well. I didn't have much stake in the game, but I did find myself rooting for the human team at times, and getting at least a little caught up in their struggle. Travolta played tyrannical pretty well too. There were... other issues with his performance, but he was a pretty legit baddie. Lastly, that last 45 minutes came as a welcome almost-payoff to the rest of the film. I got to see some moments that were well acted, and well directed, and that I didn't find completely repulsive. However, that's all I've got guys. I took a solid page and one half of notes in a college ruled notebook, and that's all the positive I got.

This film really tested the limits of my ability to find the hidden good in things. I had seen it once before just after it was released to home video, and had, surprisingly, blocked that from my mind. Nearly twenty years of growth and wisdom have brought me to this day where I was able to find as least a little good in a film that was universally panned harder than the Sierra Nevada region during the gold rush. It didn't manage to win me over, but it did surprise me in its ability to not stink as bad as the stigma had led me to believe, and that's definitely a tall feat where I'm concerned. I'm glad that I can confidently say that I'm still actually looking forward to seeing where this experimental journey leads me. I imagine that it's all downhill from here, we just have to see in what fashion so stick around for next week to see what critically panned gem I'll be taking on in my attempt to build character!

Killing Me Softly With Kindness Week 1: Batman & Robin

 

Okay, so I was going to do Ice Pirates this week as we embark on this grand experiment to be kind, even in the face of overwhelming adversity, but I started poking around the almighty Interwebs, and realized that that movie doesn't even scratch the bottom of worst films of all time lists. Also, I watched it, and aside from a few gags that didn't age particularly well, found it to be pretty enjoyable, with an imaginative premise and fun action sequences. Armed with all of this knowledge, I took to browsing several 'Worst movies of all time' lists. Did you know that Wikipedia has an entire article where such things are broken down by year? It was extremely informative and barring suggestions from you, my beloved readers, I've cross referenced several of these lists and lifted some of the recurring entries to provide appropriate subjects for this exercise over the next few weeks.

This week we start with the grande burrito of bad movies. It's the one that set comic book films back by nearly half a decade, the one that gets named regularly in discussions about bad films, Batman & Robin. There are probably quite a few mean things that I could say in reviewing this film, but that would defeat the purpose of my Mr. Rogers inspired experiment. No, today, I'm going to give a glowingly positive review of a film that has gone down in the annals of film history in infamy. Brace yourselves because this is Batman & Robin. MAN! It's been forever since we've done a series, and I'm super excited!

Okay, brief synopsis since I'd be surprised if many of my audience hadn't seen this movie at least one time. Batman & Robin is a story about family, and loss, and maybe a bit about environmental friendliness. In the film, our titular characters have to battle it out with Mr. Freeze, and Poison Ivy, two reasonably good characters from the Batman mythology. Mr. Freeze is trying to build a giant freeze ray so that he can make Gotham as cold as his heart, which is broken because he hasn't yet found a cure for his wife's terminal disease, but it's okay because she's been cryogenically frozen. Actually, what he intends to do is demonstrate his power with his giant freeze gun, and use that power to parlay for money to continue doing research to cure the disease. Poison Ivy loves plants and she's really angry about how plants are being treated so she's going on a crusade to avenge the wrongs committed towards her botanical buddies, and she's decided to strike at the source of most of her personal woes, Wayne Enterprises.

Meanwhile, Bruce and Dick are locked in a testosterone driven frenemy feud over the whole hero and sidekick arrangement. Poor Dick has been getting dumped on, and he feels like Bruce doesn't have any faith in him, or trust in him. But in reality, Bruce is just being over-protective because he doesn't want to have to experience anymore loss like he did with his parents. Also meanwhile, Alfred has a niece who drops in unexpectedly because she's failed out of college, and wants to 'visit'. That's cool though because also secretly, Alfred has the onset symptoms of the disease that's killing Mr. Freeze's wife. Bruce is carrying baggage of his own, and actually trying to work through some of it as he learns to let people get closer to him emotionally, namely Dick, and even Alfred. This is poignantly demonstrated by Bruce's lack of knowledge pertaining to the help meet that has watched over him obsessively since his parents' deaths.

Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy eventually realize that their goals are kind of the same, at least in terms of defeating Batman, and they team up. However, each is just trying to play the other for a sap and use that other person to further their own agenda. They concoct a plan where in Ivy will create some chaos, and Freeze will do his thing, but I get the impression that at the end of the day, each was planning to double cross the other. They don't get a chance though because Batman, Robin and Batgirl all swoop in to save the day! YAY!

Brief enough for you? Good. Now for the fun part. I thought this exercise was going to be pretty tough, and I had had no intentions of actually watching this movie that I've seen an embarrassing number of times over again for this article. However, I ran out of things to do last night and popped it in for kicks and giggles. Then the whole world turned on its ear. I went it knowing that I would have to find good things about this film, and guys, Mr. Rogers was totally right! When you look for the good in a person, or in this case a thing, from the get go, you tend to find it! This movie has been around for over twenty years, and I saw it in the theaters when it came out, and I've seen it several times since, but do you know what I never noticed? When Alicia Silverstone's credit appears on screen, there's a subtle sound of a motorcycle engine being revved. Get it? Because she races motorcycles you guys! It's a little thing that ultimately foreshadows a thing that's not that important to the plot, but the little bit of character foreshadowing is at least a little creative.

I also noticed that everything is really colorful. I have harped on this in the past, but I'm going to take a different approach this time. See, every character has their own color palette to better define them in each scene that they're in. Robin gets a lot of red, Poison Ivy pinks and greens, Mr. Freeze blues, Batman also blues but a slightly different shade, and Batgirl kind of a pinkish purple color. The existence of the colors on screen is far from subtle, but the pattern of usage kind of is. I know that we all kind of agree that Batman should be dark and brooding and gritty, but I've gotten about 15 years of nothing but dark, broody Batman, and after that much time, the colors are actually a little refreshing. It's like we over corrected after this movie, and then Nolan's movies did incredibly well, and we all just kind of decided that that's what a Batman film should look like, but DC just decided that that's what every DC film should look like. And some other studios followed suit because gritty, and washed out, and bland just looked cool. But guys, we live in a world where state-of-the-art TVs can produce around 68 BILLION colors, and movies are digitally color corrected anyway. It might be time that we start putting that technology to good use.

Another thing I noticed is that everyone was cast reasonably well. Schwarzenegger made for a physically imposing Mr. Freeze, which I think is what was being attempted. For Poison Ivy, the actress needed to be able to go from dorky looking scientist to smoking hot botanical bombshell in no time flat, and Uma Thurman pulled that off extremely well. Batman needed to come across as kind of a jerk, but with a softer edge, and I think George Clooney did that pretty well. Robin needed to be a macho whiny brat and Chris O'Donnell did that. And Batgirl needed to be the seemingly plucky enigma that ends up being pretty useful, and Alicia Silverstone did a good job there. What I'm saying is that each character had something to accomplish and the actors did pretty well accomplishing it. It was downright delightful to see John Glover play the mad scientist that invented the Venom serum to create Bane because it appeared that John Glover was having so much fun with the role. And I noticed for the most part that the actors at least appeared to be having fun. That may not actually be the case, but at least they tried to make it appear to be so.

Since we're on the characters, I noticed that between one liner jokes and puns, Mr. Freeze actually had a few darker, more sinister lines. I think had they wanted to go a darker route with this film, the ground work was there. Of course, they did not, but at least the frame work was there. I also noticed that the tension between Bruce and Dick is actually really well portrayed. They set it up from the very beginning when Batman gets this huge triumphant entrance, and then Robin gets pushed to the side like an after thought. It's played off with banter at first, but the whole situation does evolve into something more serious later on in the film, and the two ultimately have to find balance in that aspect of their relationship. As far as Barbara/Batgirl is concerned, I understand that there were a ton of liberties taken with this character. She also got sidelined quite a bit, but when she wasn't being sidelined, I felt like she might have actually served as a pretty good role model for females interested in pursuing STEM professions. She mentions that she's been studying computer sciences, and at the climax, those skills are used to help save the day. Heck, she hacks the Batcave! How many of Batman's enemies do you think would pay top dollar for that skill?

I want to focus a bit on Bruce separately as a character. The title says it all. This is, at the end of the day, a Batman film, and because of that, Bruce Wayne is going to steal a lot of the spotlight. I kind of thought that focusing more on Bruce's struggle to let himself grow attached to people was a pretty cool take on character development. Seeing through pretty well presented flashback how Alfred had been such a huge influence in his life, and then pointing out how Bruce knew nothing of Alfred's personal life really sets the stage for just how deep Bruce's attachment issues really run. These issues bleed over into his superhero relationship with Dick as Bruce finds it nearly impossible to loosen his grip on the reigns for fear of losing Dick, and because he's either unwilling or unable to let Dick prove that Dick can be leaned upon to share the burden of the superhero life. Bruce definitely makes some strides in overcoming these issues, and by the end, he's not only gotten closer to Alfred and Dick, but has also let Barbara in as well. That's character development. It may have been a bit clumsy, but it's there.

It's also interesting that Bruce's emotional issues are reflected in Mr. Freeze somewhat. Freeze could have saved everyone a ton of trouble simply by asking for some help. Shoot, the fact that he managed to invent viable cryogenics makes his work incredibly valuable! He could have gotten all of the funding he could ever need just off of that alone, but his, shall we say, change of heart caused him to see the world in a much more cynical light, and that outlook precluded him from seeking the help that he desperately needed. He goes on a rampage of terror with a plan to hold Gotham for ransom, and in the end, because Wayne needed his help, Wayne gives him the funding that he needed in the first place. It's a different approach to similar states of being and it's a little cool. Likewise, Poison Ivy as fuel for the feud between Bruce and Dick is not exactly a bad touch. Ivy is typically portrayed as the villain with looks and brains, but her motivations were respected here, and she used what she had, which was stunning good looks. She's not exactly a bimbo either. She's got a pretty solid bit of grey matter between those ears. But Barbara/Batgirl being her foil was pretty fun.

I want to briefly mention the music. I'm that guy who gets all hot and bothered over movie scores, and there are a few things pertaining to the music of Schumacher Batman films that I would like to get off of my chest. First, I don't not like them. They're zany, and at times, a little over the top. But they match the tone of their films really well, and the set that tone well. They do a lot to define the films, and at least as far as scores are concerned, that's actually important. Also, there are thematic beats that are a bit darker and more brooding and mysterious. Those cues are actually kind of cool, and I enjoy listening to them even outside of the context of the films. Goldenthal leans on a very specific style for his Batman films, and that shows. He loves his higher pitched violins and trumpets to lend a heroic feel to his scores, but isn't afraid to blend that with some off-the-wall synth. It can be pretty fun to listen to, is all I'm saying. And there are some heavier, more serious pieces that lend weight to their scenes.

This is normally where I would jump into the negative aspects of the film, but that's not what we're doing this month. Instead, I'll just say that the Joel Schumacher Batman films deserve at least one viewing if only to help us to better appreciate the finer films that we get to enjoy in life. But also because they are pieces of cinematic history, and there are always things to be learned from history. They're colorful, family friendly, and quite a bit of over-the-top fun if you're looking for something during which you can turn your brain off. However, hopefully, I've pointed out some things that will help you to find a little bit of depth in this movie should you pick it up for a watch in the near future. Batman & Robin, I like you well enough just the way you are. Enjoy your week, and stay tuned to see what I've dug up to review next week!

Mr. Rogers: The Example That We Needed, But Definitely Didn't Deserve

Let me contextualize things for a moment. I've been anxiously engaged in trying to meet that goal of making a video for the blog this year and have made a few strides in doing so. Yesterday, May 31, I spent about 8 hours filming, and editing and recording voice over for a video that I had hoped to post up today for you guys. Previously, I had tailored together some shots from a movie to accentuate a point that I was trying to make in an article, and was unable to actually use it. Why have I been plagued with momentary defeats? Primarily, it's because I'm cheap. I had hoped to get the video ball rolling using only free software so that I could practice, gain some experience with different programs, and then make an informed decision about how I would spend my hard earned money. However, navigating the labyrinth of available information about video editing software is laborious, and smoke and mirrors abound. It's surprisingly difficult to get straight answers about the application of applications as they pertain to budding videographers. Also, there's one fatal flaw inherent to any free editing software that I have tried. That flaw is that you can't actually export your video to a usable format once you've finished your project unless you buy the activation code on the spot.

So I put 8 hours into making you guys a wonderful video yesterday only to run face first into that brick wall, and what's more, the program that I used wouldn't even allow me sleep on the decision. As it turns out, as soon as I closed the program in question, it deleted the project file that had been created in conjunction with all of the work that I had done. These are things that would have been nice to have known going into the experience, but I suppose it would just be asking way too much for any corporation to just be upfront about their products and services, and the caveats that exist in testing said things. Perhaps one day, once I've actually gotten the video end of things working, I'll do a review video about some of these 'free' video editing applications that I naively jumped into using and we can all have a good laugh about it. But for now, this is my long-winded way of saying, yes, I'm still working on making a video, no, the latest attempt didn't work, but I remain undeterred.

I suppose I could just have ranted about that for an article, but as my long time readers know, that's not really my style. Inspired by the ultimate televised father figure, I made the last minute decision to channel my frustrations into hopefully providing you with an uplifting piece that will, again hopefully, brighten your day just a little bit. By the way, did you know that Tom Hanks is currently working on a Mr. Rogers biopic film?

Yep, that's totally a thing that's happening. I have pretty high hopes. His last biopic, Sully, was a little heavy handed, but I still enjoyed it, and there have actually been very few Tom Hanks films that I haven't enjoyed. However, that's not slated to be released until October of 2019 so we're just going to have to wait a while on that one.

In the mean time, I inadvertently stumbled upon a decent documentary about Mr. Rogers while browsing Amazon Prime this past week. I'll cut to the chase and just say that while it's worth a watch, and might even make you misty eyed at times, the documentary itself really fails to shine as much as its subject matter. I don't think that's a bad thing when the subject matter is one of the most beloved TV personalities of all time though so pass on that. No, I really couldn't care less about reviewing the actual documentary, but wanted to discuss, in a moment of irony, how watching it made me feel, and specifically about Mr. Rogers. However, if you're interested, or just curious, the documentary is called, Mr. Rogers and Me.

The entire film is just over an hour long, and like I said, there's nothing really groundbreaking going on, but it does manage to capture, in a small way, the profound impact that Mr. Rogers had on those around him while he lived and I think that is a pretty commendable success for the film maker. I'd certainly say it's worth at least one watch if only to stir up the more noble parts of your soul and inspire yourself to do good.

That's really the crux of why we're taking this little diversion from the cold and critical into the warm recesses of my Vulcan heart today. I felt moved by the anecdotal stories that were shared by some of the people who had the privilege of knowing Fred Rogers throughout the years,and I was amazed by the lengths to which Mr. Rogers would go to see the good in people and to help them see the good in themselves. So let's get dig a bit deeper and talk a little bit about that amazing neighbor.

I have to admit that I didn't actually watch a lot of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood growing up. I'd catch the occasional episode on TV while flipping to other things, like GI Joe, or Transformers, but it never really caught my interests as a kid. I have been watching episodes from the very beginning of the show on Amazon Prime, and as of this writing, they're still available to watch, and I noticed one thing right off the bat. It took Fred a few years to really perfect how he presented himself on his show. I'm not trying to be mean spirited here. I'm only saying that like any human being, Mr. Rogers had to grow into the person that he knew that he wanted to be. That's just life. Most of us would consider ourselves lucky to just have a clear idea of what we want to be. Mr. Rogers knew who he wanted to be, and he knew that the person he wanted to be wanted to help others to discover within themselves the means to become.

The documentary points out an incident when Mr. Rogers was about 8 years old where he was chased home from school and bullied by some boys for being overweight. Telling his adult family members about it, they all advised him that if he'd just ignore the boys, or blow off the insults as if they weren't a big deal, then the boys would bore of bullying him and move on. Apparently, this was not what 8 year old Fred Rogers had wanted to hear. In letters, he had told a friend that he had wanted permission at that age to just be angry about the way he was being treated because he was angry about the way he was being treated. Apparently, 8 year old Fred Rogers wanted his feelings to be acknowledged and wanted someone else to understand how he was actually feeling.

This became a running theme in the life of Mr. Rogers in his adult years. Mr. Rogers attempted via his show to teach kids how they might be able to identify their feelings, and in turn express them in constructive ways that might help others to help them resolve their feelings. Rogers taught that the things that could be identified needn't be feared, and that once we understand how we're feeling, we can then begin to work through those feelings constructively. He said, "There's no 'should' or 'should not' when it comes to having feelings. They're part of who we are and their origins are beyond our control. When we can believe that, we may find it easier to make constructive choices about what we do with those feelings." He understood that to feel was to be human and much like my hero Mr. Spock, we're all learning how to feel and use those feelings here in life. 

This is a point that I felt particularly intrigued by while watching the documentary. In our constantly connected world of today, we are nearly constantly bombarded by media that preys on our basic instincts to anger, anxiety, and sadness. We're told all too often that we should feel a certain way about a certain thing be it something political, something material, or something abstract, the media that we're exposed to each day tries extremely hard to guide our emotions in specific ways in order to push their own agendas. Mr. Rogers may not have lived to see these times, but he certainly understood at the core how we as individuals could deal with our current social climate. He once suggested, 

"Confronting our feelings and giving them appropriate expression always takes strength, not weakness. It takes strength to acknowledge our anger, and sometimes more strength yet to curb the aggressive urges anger may bring and to channel them into nonviolent outlets. It takes strength to face our sadness and to grieve and to let our grief and our anger flow in tears when they need to. it takes strength to talk about our feelings and to reach out for help and comfort when we need it." 

These words of wisdom I think are more applicable today than ever before. As we're bombarded by media of our socially connected world, we might find ourselves faced with the understandable knee jerk anger, or anxiety, or sadness that that thing has probably been carefully engineered to elicit within us. It's up to us to tap into that strength that lies deep within us and take a moment to breathe and to work out why we feel the way we feel, and then try to figure out how to best deal with those feelings in a constructive and positive way. How many hours of pointless arguing, and name calling, and hate spewing could be avoided if only each of us would take a moment to step back from that thing that we saw on the Internet and give ourselves time to cool down before we begin to respond to those feelings?

There are so many ways in which I find Mr. Rogers to be an inspiring figure. Those who met him personally say that he was exceptionally great at making you feel like the center of all his attention when he met with you. He'd put everything else to the side and focus just on you until you indicated that you no longer required his focus. Then he would move to the next thing, and the next thing. He never made anyone feel like they were an afterthought, or that there was anything more important. This demonstration of patience and compassion really made me feel like I could do better with that. It's easy to get distracted by our phone, or the TV, but treating someone decently and focusing our attention and our energy on that person in the moment that they need us can only serve to help that person feel a little better about themselves, and that's pretty cool.

Mr. Rogers taught children to be helpful wherever it was that they found themselves. A story was shared during the documentary about a party that Rogers attended on Nantucket island. The adults were having a fun time and enjoying each other's company, and Fred Rogers had taken a paper plate and some eating utensils and made a clock, and was teaching the only child there how to tell time. It's a lesson that I know I personally need to learn better that there is never an inconvenient time to help others. Rogers even preemptively congratulated us for putting our own wants and needs aside for a short time to enrich those around us when he said, "I hope you're proud of yourself for the times you've said 'yes,' when all it meant was extra work for you and was seemingly helpful only to somebody else." I wonder how much better I might feel if I tried harder to cast aside myself and devote more time in the service of those around me. I'd like to hope that those who receive the gift of my time might even feel compelled to give the gift of their time to someone else whom they find in need. I feel like that would be a pretty amazing cascading effect of selflessness that would really benefit our tumultuous world right now.

I know that I've been rambling quite a bit, and perhaps you don't feel like I've really accomplished very much today, but I feel like Mr. Rogers was a person that we could all use in our lives to help us have more compassion towards ourselves and also towards those around us. I think it's a wonderful thing that he was able to spend so many years documenting his unique insights so that future generations could benefit from his wisdom. I also feel like if we all tried just a little bit harder to emulate this person, we'd all find the potential to become so much more than we already are, and our world might be a bit less angry and scary. Fred Rogers spent his life going about and doing good. His example inspired me to try and do the same, and I hope that perhaps it can do so for you as well. I'm challenging myself to try and find the good in things and I want to do an experiment this month. There are four Fridays left and I'm going to watch the most awful and reviled films that I can get my hands on and then try to write reviews for them that are nothing by good. So next week, we'll do Ice Pirates, and then I'll be asking for suggestions from there. It's a subject that, unsurprisingly, Mr. Rogers touched on this very principle when he said, "There is no normal life that is free of pain. It's the very wrestling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth." Challenge accepted.

I want to leave you with one of the more inspiring Mr. Rogers quotes that I was able to find because I would like to leave feeling a little more inspired than when you began reading. First, I would encourage you to look for the quiet and simple things in life. Second, try to realize that behind the words you read online, or really anywhere, there's a person behind them struggling to find a way to deal with their feelings constructively. And last, every person we run across in our lives has value. We may not immediately see it, but it's our duty to look for it and to try and grow that value. One final quote that I think sums it all up quite well, "As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has--or ever will have--something inside that is unique to all time. It's our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression."